Amazing, generous, astounding ...

So, part of my goals for 2012 (the year of Kylie) was to really dedicate myself to making the best version of myself a reality. In short, it means lose a bucketload of weight. And I'm well on my way there. I'm down 12-point-something kilograms in just over 10 weeks, I've lost over 43cms from my body, and I can RUN! I have NEVER been able to go for a run in my entire life, but I have always wanted to. And now I can. I'm not the fastest, or the most co-ordinated, but I tell you what, I am the most determined.

I'll have Katy Perry's "Part of Me" song blasting away on the iPod and be huffing and puffing and red and disgusting, but it doesn't matter, because I love it. I always used to worry about what people were thinking about me as they drove past me on the road. And yes, I've had horns honked at me and teenage boys yell at me, "Keep running, fatso!". It's heartbreaking when that happens. But most of the time, the people I run/walk past have a big smile on their face, and I know they're thinking, "Wow - look at her. She's doing something to change her life and that is AWESOME."

My boys are proud of me - hubby included. My eldest, S, wants desperately to attend a gym class with me. He'll be old enough soon - they have a Kidsfit class at the gym, so when he turns 5 I'll take him along to one of those. He started Karate this morning, and the look on his face was priceless. Soon, when hubby is back in Brisbane full time, I'll get in there too and have a go at Karate. It looks brilliant.

So today, one of the members of the 12WBT 30+ crew posted their video-blog (which was our mystery surprise task this week). It got me inspired. I don't have enough photos of me 'working out' to do a video blog - but I did do this picture.

The first picture was me at my 30th birthday party in February, 2012. The smile isn't quite reaching my eyes, is it? You know, I thought I looked good that night. I knew I was 'big' but I didn't realise how big.
The second photo is from this morning, after my Super Saturday Session. 12+kg gone, 43cm+ gone. Huge difference. My eyes are actually open when I smile! I have a jawline!! My collar bones are slowly making their way to the surface.

So I posted this picture on the 30+crew FB page, and the positive comments have been overwhelming. Not only that, but an incredibly generous, wonderful, amazing angel has decided to sponsor me for Round 2 of 12WBT, because I wasn't sure if I'd have enough money saved up to pay for the round, even though I am desperate to continue with it. So now I won't have to worry about that - I can put all of my energy and focus into becoming what my mystery angel sees in me - someone who deserves a chance to be happy and healthy. And I cannot ever repay them for that. I have had a huge mindset change today. Like Ali put it so nicely on the 30+crew FB page, "You know you deserve this, right, Kylie?". Before this happened, I really didn't think that I deserved this. That I deserved to be happy, or healthy. But I do. And I will. I promise. I am a woman of my word.

So very, very tired.

My youngest son, J, is a shocking sleeper. I'm under no illusions that the phrase 'sleeping like a baby' is total bullshit. My eldest son slept through the night for the first time at 16 months. Second son slept through from 8 months. J is 11 months old today and has slept through the night a grand total of ONE time. This is what happened last night:

Bedtime: 7:30pm
First wake: 10pm - given a breastfeed and back to sleep
Second wake: 11:15pm - I refused to give him a feed and put him in his cot (in my room, at the foot of my bed). I stood up patting him to sleep until 2:20am, when he finally realised that I was not going to feed him.
Third wake: 4am - I was literally falling asleep standing up so I gave in and fed him.
Fourth wake: 5:15am. Again, totally exhausted so I fed him.

Then the other boys were awake for the day at 6am (how nice of them, their usual wake up is 5:30am).

Unfortunately I have no one here overnight to help me out, my husband works away from home and is only home two nights every fortnight, so I find it very difficult to even contemplate trying to help J with his night time sleeps when I have to get up and look after the other boys at 6am.

You know what the ironic thing is? I'm actually a child health nurse, and the number of parents I have helped over the years to put their children to sleep and stop them waking up overnight is HUGE. So why won't these things work for me? Gah!!

Oh well, off to the gym this morning again. I'm doing Body Step so even though I'll be super tired, I'll have done my work out for the day.

If only I could justify something disgusting and greasy from Maccas as a breakfast treat ... but then I'd have to work it off on the elliptical trainer and I HATE that thing!!

Hope you had a good night - send some sleepy dust my way - please!!

The first post ... uh oh

Ok, so I've been told that blogging can be quite therapeutic. And I'm in serious need of some therapy at the moment, so why not? Here goes nothing...

About me. 30 years OLD! Wife to Dave, mother to Sebastian, Benjamin and Jameson, my three boys. Full time uni student studying early childhood education externally. SAHM to my boys, currently on maternity leave from my position as a Clinical Nurse in a child health setting. Completely and utterly LOUD and I love to get creative. I love to paint, to colour in (yup, give me a print out of Ben 10 and I'll go to town!) and to do anything remotely creative. I'm a novice sewer ... self taught, except for those six months in Year 8 of Home Ec ... I'm on a weight loss mission through the 12 Week Body Transformation program with Michelle Bridges (who inspires me on a daily basis), and I'm determined to be happy and healthy for the next 30+ years of my life.

Why am I writing this? Because I can. Because my boys drive me crazy and make me fall in love with them at the same time. Because my hubby does fly in/fly out work and I'm going crazy from not talking to an adult about something remotely interesting (don't get me wrong, I love my kids but there is only so much talking I can do about the latest Ben 10 or Power Rangers episode). Because I want to share my accomplishments and failures. And because I'm real. I'm not doing this to change the world, I'm just an ordinary person leading an ordinary life, but a life that is both wonderful and terrifying at the same time.

So, that's me in a nutshell. My crazy life and all that it entails. Enjoy.