Rockin' around the clock

Over the weekend, I celebrated the finale of Round 3 of the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. This was my third round, and all together I've lost just under 28kg and over 134cm of measurement off my body.

Not only had I completed the three rounds, literally on the Friday that we flew to Sydney, I handed in the VERY LAST ASSIGNMENT for my Graduate Diploma in Education (Early Childhood). I have finished uni!!

Very recently, I've been completing a prac placement in a school in a Prep classroom, and I spent 5 weeks fulltime there. To be honest, there was so much about that prac that felt so wrong, that I can't even begin to start to explain it. I was asked to be untrue to myself, to my ethics - it was awful. I really struggled with being inauthentic - to reward behaviour that should just be a given, to ask young children to complete assessment pieces that had NO authentic components, no way for them to link their learning to the real world - let's just say I didn't enjoy myself at all. I pretty much hated every minute, and I really feel it was because I was asked to compromise my integrity just so I could pass the prac. BUT - more about that later.

I had such a wonderful weekend in Sydney. It was my first time EVER away from the brood, so I found it very challenging, particularly the mummy guilt side of things. However, my two lovely friends kept my mind off it, and I had a brilliant night!

I danced the night away in shoes that were FAR TOO HIGH for me, and I was blown away with the love and support that people whom I had never met showed me throughout the night. Let's just say, 30+ crew, YOU ARE FRICKING AWESOME!!!!!!

On the Sunday, I was so insanely fortunate to attend Stand Your Ground 1 with the amazing Janet (thank you my beautiful friend) and Emazon, whom I have posted about previously. Last time I did SYG, my head was all over the place, and whilst I learnt SO MUCH, I was really looking forward to getting something different from SYG this time, and I sure did.

Last time, I HATED the blind boxing. It really freaked me out, having to trust myself and being OK with not hitting the pad - that it just meant that I needed to change direction, and that I didn't fail. Being someone who has ALWAYS judged their self worth on their ability to PASS OR FAIL, this was so very confronting for me.

The first time we blind boxed, I froze. I freaked out. I kept telling myself, 'You can't do this ... you're going to fail ..." Then Emma said, "It doesn't matter if you don't hit the pad this time - because all it is telling you is that the pad is SOMEWHERE ELSE. That's all."  Ding ding ding!! Lightbulb. It's ok to not get it the first time - it doesn't mean you give up, and cry in the corner because you suck. NOPE. You get back up, and you change direction. Because the pad is there - it's just not where you thought it was.

All this time, I thought it was about using your ears to find out where your pad holder was standing. But it was about so much more. It was about trusting yourself enough to change direction.

My mantra during the blind boxing was trust. I needed to be ok with trusting MYSELF. And I did - and I hit the pad ... a lot. I missed once or twice, and that self doubt kept flooding back, but I didn't give up. I said to myself "TRUST IT" and came back to hit the pad.

At the end, when we were all sharing how we were now feeling, I said, "On the edge." I had Lady GaGa's song, "Edge of Glory" in my head, and that's what I felt like - on the edge of something amazing, that I just needed to trust myself to get rid of my Louis Vitton baggage and take the leap (thanks for the analogy, Emma!! I'll never look at LV the same).

So - now that prac is over - I can share something amazing. I have been given a wonderful, wonderful opportunity to become a Kindergarten teacher at a beautiful little community centre. A Kindy teacher job is incredibly difficult to get, and I'm so honoured that the teachers there saw something special in me. I start on Thursday, and I'm filled with anticipation. I cannot wait to help to shape the lives of little people. It's going to be brilliant, and I'm so glad that SYG has helped me to trust that anticipation and do something amazing with it!